6 Ways for Single Mothers to Cope After Divorce

Following divorce, it may seem a daunting prospect to bring your children up as a lone parent. It’s a time when you need to know where you stand legally, what your rights are as a single mother and to gain a full perspective, where to get advice about father’s rights can also be helpful. 

However, there are other positive steps you can take to ensure you are doing the best you can to look after yours and your children’s mental well-being at what is often a difficult adjustment period. In this post, we look at different ways you can manage and prosper post-divorce.  

Mother and son having breakfast

• Prioritise the needs of your children

This can be an extremely difficult time for your children. Adapting to a new life, new arrangements, a new home or a new school can be a huge upheaval for a child of any age.  Counselling or therapy sessions can be very helpful for you and/or your child at this stage and more specialised support like co-parenting therapy can help with parenting strategies and healthier communication. 

• Try to develop a positive relationship with your ex-partner 

Although it can be very challenging to form a positive relationship with an ex-partner, it is important to try. Now or in the future, there will be big decisions to be made together for your children, and having a united front will prevent your child from feeling comprised or ‘in the middle’. However, there are exceptions to pursuing a convivial relationship with an ex, for example, if you have been involved in a very difficult or abusive marriage. 

• Explore new hobbies and interests 

Although much of your focus is on your children following a divorce, you should also put some effort into you and explore interesting and fun things you can do. Is there anything you have always wanted to try but haven’t? A night school art or design class, karate sessions or even an online coding course? Whatever it is, now is a good time to do something for you, to help build your self-esteem and confidence. A new activity will also help you meet new people, and even if you find the new hobby is not for you, the exercise of trying will have taught you something new about yourself.

• Get your finances straight 

This new phase in your life also signals a new phase for your finances. Beginning new saving and budgeting plans, or opening a new bank account for holidays can help you stay focussed on the goals you have for you and your family. Many single mothers find they have to juggle housework, a career and looking after children too, so planning and organising your finances can make you feel more in control.

• Maintain positive friendships

After a divorce, although you may be busy with work and looking after children, you can still feel lonely. Staying in touch with friends for a chat on the phone, an online video call or a coffee-shop meet up is really important. It can be easy to cancel dates with friends but try not to, as connections, especially those with fellow single mothers, are important in helping you feel less alone, more bonded and as a means of taking your mind off negative issues you may have related to your divorce. 

• Avoid negativity 

Finally, in the months and weeks following a divorce, there can still be some negativity from people around you and it is a time when people can judge you on decisions you make for you and your family. It’s crucial that you are able to remove this unhelpfulness from your life when you need to.