8 Strategies for Helping Kids Adjust to Divorce

One out of every two children will play witness to their parents’ divorce, with one in ten children seeing three or more parental marriages ending in divorce. Given that 37.6% of all marriages in the US end in divorce, that’s hardly surprising.

Going through a divorce is difficult for all family members, but especially for children. As a parent, you play a critical role in helping your kids adjust to this major life transition in a healthy way. Here are 8 effective strategies for supporting children during and after divorce:

Communicate Openly and Honestly

70% of parents say they struggle to have a meaningful conversation with their kids, but it’s important to have age-appropriate conversations with your kids about the divorce. Be honest about what is happening without overwhelming them with details. Reassure them that they are loved and the divorce is not their fault. Allow them to ask questions and express their feelings. Ongoing open communication builds trust.

Encourage Ongoing Relationships

“Promoting healthy relationships with both parents and extended family for your children is crucial,” emphasizes Melaniece Bardley McKnight, Founder of Bardley McKnight Law Divorce Lawyers, a leading firm of family law & divorce attorneys in Douglasville, GA. “Avoid criticizing the other parent in their presence; it only adds stress. Encourage ongoing connections to foster positivity.” McKnight recommends prioritizing the well-being of the children and their emotional stability.

Provide Stability and Consistency

25.1% of children aged 13-18 suffer from anxiety. Disruption to routines and consistency during a divorce can heighten a child’s anxiety. As much as possible, maintain regular schedules, rules, discipline, and traditions. Try to avoid abrupt changes in their daily lives. Consistency and predictability help kids feel safe.

Address Emotional Needs

Children often feel scared, angry, sad, guilty, or insecure after divorce. Validate their feelings and provide emotional support. Encourage them to express emotions in healthy ways. Consider counseling if needed. Meeting emotional needs helps avoid behavior issues.

Co-parent Effectively

Co-parenting peacefully with your ex-spouse is vital for your kids’ well-being. Set aside differences and work cooperatively. Develop consistent rules and discipline. Share important information and be united. Effective co-parenting prevents kids from feeling torn.

Create a Child-Centered Home

Building a stable post-divorce home environment helps kids feel secure. Include comfortable spaces, familiar possessions, predictable routines, and family time. Involve kids in making new traditions. Child-centered spaces ease the transition.

Take Care of Yourself

Caring for yourself should be a priority. Get support from family, friends, professionals, or support groups. Manage stress through self-care. Model resilience and emotional wellness for your kids. Children do better when parents are coping well.

Be Patient

Understand that adjustment takes time for kids and adults. Expect ups and downs. Setbacks are normal. Support your children patiently through the process. With your help, most kids can adapt successfully over time.

Going through a divorce with children involved requires navigating numerous challenges. By employing strategies like maintaining open communication, providing stability, addressing emotional needs, co-parenting cooperatively, creating a child-centered environment, practicing self-care, and having patience, you can guide your kids through this transition and come out stronger on the other side. 

With your support, care, and understanding, children are remarkably resilient.