Not many women plan to be single mothers; it just happens. Your relationship comes to an end, or your significant other passes away, and you’re suddenly alone. Although caring for your children brings you joy (and keeps you busy), there comes the point when you want to find someone to love. While you may be anxious to get back out there and date, there are a few things to consider first.
Dating with children isn’t easy. It means not only finding someone that you connect with but developing a relationship with a person that will respect and love your children. Making a rash or unfavorable decision about who you allow in your life ultimately affects you and your family. Since your first obligation is to yourself and your kids, ensure that you’ve done the following before you start dating again.
Heal From The Past
There’s a common misconception that the best way to get over one relationship is to jump into another one. Although it may be a welcoming distraction, it can impact your future if you haven’t completely healed from your past relationship. If you recently broke up, divorced, or lost a loved one, give yourself time to grieve the end of the relationship. Evaluate the part you may have played in things falling apart. If necessary, seek counseling to get past overwhelming emotions or traumas.
Talk To The Co-Parent
You might not like the idea of talking to your ex about dating, but it’s a comforting gesture. It lets them know that you’ll be interacting with others that could potentially be in their child’s life. It also prevents a lot of unnecessary arguments down the road. You don’t have to tell them who; simply let them know that you’re going to get back out there. It’s a courtesy that you’ll come to appreciate if they ever start dating again.
Talk To Your Kids
Your kids will be impacted once you start dating. Whether they end up meeting the people you date or not, they will notice the changes in your routines and, ultimately, your mood. It’s also not uncommon for kids to feel like you’re trying to replace their other parent. Talking to them lets you share your feelings, discuss the changes, and listen to their concerns and needs.
While there’s certainly no rush, there’s going to come a time when you want to get intimate with someone you’re dating. When that time comes, you don’t want there to be any risks or concerns. That’s why it’s ideal to get tested and know your status. Visit your doctor or gynecologist and ask for STI screening to ensure everything is intact. If issues do arise, at least you can get them resolved sooner rather than later. Once you start dating, it’s best to get tested at least once every six months to a year to remain safe.
Create A Support System
While you may not want to announce to the world that you’re dating again, you do want to have a system of support. Having a few close friends or relatives that you can talk to, share your experiences with, and even ask for help with the kids is ideal as you embark on this journey.
Give Virtual Dating A Try
When it comes to dating in modern times, virtual dating has become increasingly popular. People create profiles on dating sites and apps, connect with singles in their area, and get to know each other over the internet. More than sending emails back and forth, virtual dating can include everything from a romantic dinner to a movie night. Virtual dating is not only trendy, but a safe and convenient way for busy moms to find true love. So, consider starting with this concept before moving towards in-person meetings.
There’s nothing wrong with single moms dating. However, they do have a different set of factors to consider when getting back out there. While finding your one true love can take time, you can make the experience a positive one by ensuring that you’ve completed the steps listed above.