You might dream of becoming parents, but once that day arrives, you might start to yearn for the days of trying to become parents. It’s no secret that having kids can lead to fewer romantic encounters with your partner.
From the excessive tiredness to the postpartum body blues, it seems the odds are stacked against you ever being able to return to pre-baby levels of bedroom antics. But it doesn’t have to be this way. In this guide, we’ll look at some of the steps you can take to keep your sex life alive after having children.
Wait until you’re ready
After you have children, there will be a time when your OBGYN tells you you’re ready for sex again. And then there will be a time when you feel you are ready for sex again. There is no correlation between the two events, so don’t worry if you don’t feel ready yet.
A traumatic birth and postpartum pain can all make you want to leave things alone in the bedroom for a little longer. Listen to your body and don’t feel pressured to move forward until you are ready.
Be open with your partner
If your partner was present at the birth, they might be experiencing some hesitation to get right back in the saddle. Be honest and open with your partner so you both know where you are emotionally and how far you’ve come together. A conversation might be all it takes to learn that your partner isn’t ready, either, and this can take the stress off.
Learn to be spontaneous
As new parents, you might not be able to dedicate an entire evening to dinner, foreplay and the main event. When you have a child competing for your time, you need to be thrifty with the seconds and minutes in the day. If you find yourself with a brief window when the child is asleep and you’re both awake, pounce and enjoy the pleasures of a brief embrace. This is one of the simplest ways of keeping your sex life alive until you have more time to dedicate to one another.
Ask family to babysit
It takes a village to raise a child, so don’t be afraid to ask for help. You’ll have an army of volunteers waiting patiently to spend time with the little one, so don’t be afraid to get an hour or two to yourselves. No one has to know why you asked for a little extra help. For all they know, you could be catching up on sleep or cleaning the kitchen.
Toys make you more efficient
When time is limited, you need to be as efficient as possible to maximise your pleasure. Toys can help you to achieve orgasm faster than through manual stimulation, so don’t be afraid to experiment. There are toys for couples that are un-intimidating and user friendly, so you’ll hardly even notice they’re between you.
Get a lock for your door
With older children, you might have some anxiety that they might wander in while you’re finally enjoying a moment of intimacy. To avoid this blunder and to give yourself a little bit of confidence, invest in a lock for your door so you can signal to older children that you’re having some alone time.
Children often lead to more housework, and this burden needs to be shouldered equally. Nothing will ruin the mood more than one partner having to do all of the housework while the other one relaxes. Make it a game, and for every second saved doing housework, you can enjoy another second in the bedroom. The house will be gleaming in no time and you’ll both have more time to spend together.
Make a schedule and stick to it
Sometimes the only thing you can do is to make a schedule and then do everything in your power to stick to it. Don’t allow external commitments such as work or friends to get in the way once you’ve made an appointment for sex with your partner. Your relationship will thank you for it!
To sum up, it might take a little more work, but there are ways to keep the intimacy alive after you’ve had children. You just need to get a little organised and creative to make it happen.