Wondering what to do after finishing a relationship? We share the best tips on how to take care of yourself now and prepare for a new love in the future.
As the popular song by Semisonic says, “Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.”
You’ve probably heard these words or a variation of them since your last relationship ended. For some people, platitudes help them strengthen their spine and move forward. Other people roll their eyes and find different ways to recover.
While there’s no right or wrong way to get over a past love, you will be ready for love again.
Eventually.
The problem is that this new you also comes with your broken heart’s scars and battle wounds.
Like any scar, it’s impossible to pretend it’s not there or it didn’t happen. However, you will find love again after the end of a relationship.
You can take your experiences and combine them with these seven tips. You may not be ready for love just yet. But these methods will help prepare you if it walks through the door!
1. Don’t Romanticize
For starters, let’s get honest about your past relationship. It’s easy to romanticize it when it’s over. When you were living in it, though, chances are, it wasn’t all hearts and butterflies.
Your ex had flaws. Focus on them, not their “perfections” and the future you were dreaming about.
This doesn’t mean you should discount the good times and think of your ex as a horrible person. It just means you need to look at your relationship realistically.
You are both humans. Don’t romanticize what you had and live missing the future you had hoped for. Focus on creating your new reality instead.
2. Dip Your Toes Back into Life
In your last relationship, you probably got caught up in the other person. You don’t do it on purpose; it just happens as a natural course of events.
No matter how hard you tried, you lost your previous passions and interests, and maybe even friendships. Now that you’re not focused on your partner, you can get back to living for yourself the way you should be.
You’re going to need some time to grieve, of course. But as soon as you can, start dipping your toes back into the things you used to enjoy doing.
Call or text your friends, even if you haven’t spoken to them in a while. It might surprise you how happy they are to hear from you! Go to dinner or a movie, invite people to your home, and slowly reacclimate into single life.
3. Get Okay With Being Alone
Most of us hate being stuck in our heads, with no distractions.
You’ve grown up in a society where you never have to be alone. You can watch TV, listen to the radio, text, or scroll social media.
But being alone has significant benefits. And if you embrace them, you can avoid the loneliness that makes you jump into unhealthy relationships.
When you spend consistent time alone, you get to know yourself on a deeper level. Remember that this alone time is voluntary, and you can always join a social group or get back into a relationship when you’re ready.
The healthier you become on your own, though, the better prepared you’ll be for a strong, stable partnership. You’ll raise your standards, and you won’t settle for less!
4. Get to Know Yourself Again
A big problem that causes many relationships to fail is that one or both people in them “change.”
It’s not necessarily about changing. It’s about the fact that you didn’t know who you were when you started dating.
We all change. But some people grow at a different pace than others. When you or your partner outgrow the other person, the relationship hits dangerous waters.
Who are you, now that you’ve gone through the relationship? You’ve grown and evolved. Get to know yourself, your likes, and your dreams again.
5. Talk it Out
Have you ever had a bad dream, and when you tried to tell it to someone, you realized it wasn’t as scary as you thought? But until you verbalized it, it was terrifying.
Keeping things bottled up inside us makes them seem worse than they are. You have to let them out, but that involves getting vulnerable and real. : The experts at Callfreechatlines suggest using calling services to let out these terrifying thoughts. You shouldn’t do that with just anyone. Find someone to talk to that you feel safe with.
Insurance companies often cover talk therapy with mental health counselors. Your local church may also have free sessions available, or you can find a close friend who gives good advice and vent to them.
6. Make a List of Your Perfect Person
Entrepreneur and financial success guru Darren Hardy also gives solid relationship advice.
He suggests that you fill a notebook with detailed traits about the person you want as a forever partner. Don’t hold back. Be as accurate and vivid as you can.
But here’s the trick.
Once you know what you want that person to be like, take a good, long look at yourself. Are you the person who would attract your dream lover? If not, figure out what you need to change and start working on yourself.
Keep your list of attributes and use it to make sure you ignore the frogs on your search for your prince or princess.
7. Dive Into Your New Life, Alone
As you start working on becoming the best version of yourself possible, you’ll realize you don’t mind being alone.
Desperately searching for love almost always means it will elude you.
You’ll hear many people in relationships say that they found their other half when they stopped looking. There’s a lot of truth behind that.
When you’re not chasing love, you’re focused on yourself. When you’re content with yourself and with being alone, your energy is different.
You don’t come across desperately seeking anyone. You look like a person who knows what they want and is happy with themselves and their life.
People want to be around those kinds of people. Be you, and do you, and love will hit when you least expect it.
Conclusion
There are some things that there is just no preparation for, like having a child, teaching a class full of kids, and falling in love.
But with these tips, when the love bug bites or Cupid’s arrow hits you, you’ll be ready for a healthy, stable relationship. Until then, you’ll learn how to be in love with yourself.
And there’s no more worthy person to give your love to!
Author bio:
Dominique Daniels has five years of Property Management experience working primarily in high-end apartment community living. Her ability to consistently deliver white-glove services to her residents and prospects has propelled her in a successful career that now finds her leading the Tobin Estate Apartments team.
Leave a Reply