Have you ever seen triplets at the mall? Quadruplets at the park? Or what about quintuplets out for a walk? Are you the type of person to bite your tongue and say nothing, or do you share your thoughts with the “mom” (mom in quotes, because often it may be the nanny 🙂 )?
During my nearly twelve years as a nanny or babysitter to higher order multiples (triplets +), I’ve heard it all! There’s no question that surprises me anymore, or catches me off guard – at least not for too long. I have a comeback for each comment. Here are my top 5 questions asked, seriously people ask these questions! Plus, my comebacks that I pull out of my back pocket!
#1) Are they all three identical? Can you tell them apart?
Since the triplets are two boys and a girl, most likely they are NOT identical triplets…last time I looked boys and girls cannot be identical. However, we are still contemplating getting that confirmed just to make sure!
The triplets are now three years old, at first I had a hard time telling them apart (since you know they have to be identical)….finally made an easy decision and just renamed them all the same name…that way they don’t know I cannot tell them apart!
#2) Are they natural?
No, they aren’t natural. Actually, they are little aliens that I made as part of a science experiment! I think they look pretty natural, don’t you?
#3) How did you (yes, me…remember, the nanny?!) lose the weight so fast?
You wouldn’t believe my metabolism! Unbelievable, within about 1 minute of them being born I was right back in my size 4 pants. Sorry you weren’t as lucky!
#4) Your hands must be full….
Wow, you sure are observant J But more importantly my heart is full!
#5) Better you than me!
You’re right. I’m happy it’s me and not you. I’m happy to be a part of these little blessings lives!
I’m not stating these to sound offensive or callous. Trust me there are people who leave the sweetest comments that are truly appreciated. Unfortunately, those are not the ones that stick out in the memories of parents and caregivers of multiples. It’s the rude, inappropriate, way to personal questions that are offensive and callous.
Next time you see an adorable set of multiples, think before you speak! If you were the other person would you want to be asked that question? Most likely, your question isn’t original and/or witty, we’ve heard them all!
Here’s a funny YouTube Video that makes fun of the questions multiples caregivers are asked…it’s silly, but in all honesty, true! You will be absolutely amazed…people really ask these questions!!
Thank you so much to Cori of Cori’s Big Mouth for this hilarious Guest Post!
diane says
I used to teach preschool and one year I had a set of identicall twin girls that were absolutly adorable…of course, they climbed on tables and stuck playdough in their ears…more trouble than any other 2 kids in the class but boy did I love those girls!
Cori says
LOL, that’s one thing about multiples, they aren’t normally shy and are used to being the center of attention!!
Jamie Bishop says
Awesome!!!
Cori says
Thanks Jamie!
liz says
I’m sure you’ve heard a LOT in your many years nannying “manys”. 🙂
Cori says
…just a bit 😀 Thanks Liz!
Randi says
I used to work for a well known photography chain, and I had a customer that I adored. I met them when they were taking their engagement portraits, and then later they returned when they were expecting, for a maternity session. I was astonished when I heard another customer in the lobby ask them if they used fertility drugs upon finding out that they were expecting twins. I couldn’t believe it. About a year later that same couple came back and was expecting again, twins for the second time! At least 5 people in the lobby asked about their fertility and whether or not they used any drugs or IVF. Finally (I also happened to be pregnant at the time) when the last person said something I stepped in and responded for them. Mrs Rude (annoying customer being nosey) asked “are they natural?”, I responded “absolutly natural, can’t you see their beautiful blue eyes” to which she replied “you know what I mean, were their drugs involoved” My response was a tart “would it make them less real if there were drugs involved? I mean are your kids better because maybe you got pregnant the very first month you tried, or even better, it was just a surprise, and perhaps you even had a perfect pregnancy suffering no morning sickness, and only laboring an hour with almost no pushing. No matter what the circumstances of these children’s birth or pregnancy they are loved, well cared for and also they are natural”. She just walked away after that. I was fuming (pregnancy hormones will do that to ya) and my customer thanked me. She told me that it happens everywhere they went, she had recently had someone ask her if she was planning to abort if she got pregnant again! People really should think before they speak, and maybe even run what they are going to say by someone intelligent before they say it. Just say’n 🙂
Sippy Cup Mom says
I can not believe the things people say! Do they not think?!
Cori says
It’s insane what you hear. When I was about 15 i had 6mo triplets at the mall with me and their mom. Mom had gone to run some errands and the trips and I were just strolling the mall. I had a lady come upto me and completely tell me off, “how teen pregnancy rate was skyrocketing because of people like me, that i must be a total whore” she then huffed and turned around. Never giving me a chance to say “WAIT THEY’RE NOT MINE!!!!
The best response I heard (I wasn’t there, but love it), was when my current triplets were at costco one day with their parents at about 4mo, they had a lady that was following them up and down the aisles trying to talk to them about “how they got pregnant”. The trips mom was getting frustrated so she took the cart and left her husband with the triplets, the stroller, and the crazy lady.
Dad finally turns to the lady and goes, “okay, so you want to know how we had triplets?” the giddy lady couldn’t wait for the answer, and Dad responded with “well, when 2 people love eachother…..” when the lady realized he a) wasn’t telling her what happened and 2) was basically making fun of her, she turned around and left. 😀