Did I grab your attention with that title? A few months ago in the twins 4 month update, I shared our troubles with sleeping. Basically, it wasn’t happening in our household. We were going through the 4 month sleep regression and I had at least one baby up with me all times through the night. I was getting 1-3 hours of sleep a night, I was breaking out in what looked like hives from stress and lack of sleep and the girls were waking Hayden up in the middle of the night too. Simply put, we were all exhausted.
Our pediatrician recommended Cry It Out {CIO} and even though we did a modified version with Hayden, it just wasn’t something I wanted to do. My heart literally hurt when I thought about it. We decided we would try separating them. We started having Olivia sleep in her crib in her room and Evie sleeping in the co-sleeper in our room. Olivia started sleeping 4 hours at a time which was amazing. But Evie was still waking up every hour on the hour. She just couldn’t fall into a deep sleep. We even moved her right outside our room in the hallway thinking maybe I was waking her but nope, that wasn’t happening either. She wasn’t sleeping in our room or her room. She could only sleep being held. There were many nights where I sat in the recliner on our couch holding her. There were times that the babies would wake up Hayden and he wouldn’t want to go back into bed and would lay with me on the couch or lay with Daddy in bed.
When we saw our pediatrician again, I told him about the lack of sleep and he again mentioned the CIO method. What he explained to us really made sense. I wake up in the middle of the night and go to the bathroom or get a drink of water and then I get back into bed and fall asleep. I know that is what I’m supposed to do, fall back asleep. Babies don’t know that. If whenever they start crying in the middle of the night and you run to them and hold them or feed them, theyΒ expect that is the norm.
I did a lot of reading about the CIO method. We did a modified version with Hayden where we laid him down drowsy after our bedtime routine for him and then went in and reassured him after 3, 5, 7 and 10 minutes. After 3 nights, he started sleeping through the night and has ever since. I read a lot of twin message boards where CIO was recommended and to just start it with both twins at once. I read opinions where it said you are a horrible mom and that you love your child less and they lay there in bed feeling unsafe and unloved. I cried as I read that to my husband and told him we absolutely couldn’t do it with our girls. Then I had more nights where I was only getting 1-3 hours of sleep at night. Sometimes the girls didn’t even want to eat….they just wanted Mama to hold them! {Now, if they ARE really hungry or have a dirty diaper, I would of course take care of that!}
So we decided to do the CIO method. We went through our whole bedtime routine. We laid them down when they were showing drowsy cues. They also sleep with their aden + anais Issi Blankets {which are small, soft and completely breathable}. The first night was rough. We went in after 3 minutes, reassuring them that we loved them and that it was night time. Then we went in after 5 minutes, then 7 minutes and then 10 minutes. It was rough hearing them cry but then they fell asleep and you know what? They slept TEN hours. I was so scared when I woke up and saw what time it was – I sprinted to their room! But they were sleeping and when they woke up they were happy and rested! The next night was rough again and I wanted to quit -even though I had that nice 10 hours of sleep last night and could see the other side. My husband actually had to send me out of the house while he went in and did the timed reassuring. By the time I got back, they were sleeping and slept another TEN hours!Β The third night, we laid them down and I braced myself for crying. But it never happened. They went right to sleep and slept through the night again.
Since we did the CIO method, the girls go right to sleep at 6:30 pm and sleep until 6:00 am. We have tried to push the bedtime back later so they would sleep in later but once it gets to be 6:00 pm, they NEED to be in bed. It’s been 2 months since we did it and it’s been wonderful getting my sleep back – it also makes them happier babies too since they are getting their sleep at night. There have been some occasional nights where they might cry, but it’s usually only for about 2-3 minutes and they are out. I’ll also hear some whimpering or talking in the middle of the night and instead of sprinting to the room, I wait it out and they put themselves back to sleep. I’ve learned that Evie ALWAYS hums or talks herself to sleep. It’s how we know she is tired. Olivia will always put her arms behind her head when she is tired too. Doing this has really helped me pick up on their “tired cues” and we are all getting better sleep in the house!
I know that this is a super controversial topic. Believe me, I’ve read enough on message boards and blogs and seen the opinions and “sides” to it all. I promise you though that my girls are very much well-loved, happy and healthy babies. It’s just what worked for my family and I wanted to share my experience. Hopefully it helps another mama out there!
this is what I did as well and my child—at seven–knows how to self soothe…and Im grateful.
They are just SO cute!
I often wish someone had done this with my baby when I had surgery. He is 2 now & I’m trying to get him to not need attention all night.
<3 You have to do what is best for your babies and you. This is one of those things where everyone and their mother has an opinion, but in the end, it's up to you, Heath, and your doctor to decide. I'm very happy that you're all getting some rest and that everyone is happier for it! xoxo
Thank you Ashley!!! <3
6:30 PM Bedtime and sleep unti 6AM?! Okay, I am totally jealous! π My twins are 8 months now and they fall asleep about 8:30PM and wake around 5AM – although lately Slobber Monster has been waking up 2-3 times a night. Sometimes it’s gas, sometimes he is hungry, and sometimes he just wants held. Monkey Girl will sleep straight through, but not him, so we are tossing around the CIO method for him on those nights when he doesn’t need anything.
PS Do what is best for you and let the other people’s opinions be that, opinions. π
8:30-5 isn’t bad at all!!! Evie was the same way as Slobber Monster!
Good for you! You and the entire family need to get sleep… good, solid sleep because without it life is terrible. I’m glad that it has worked out so well for you (so quickly too) and that you’re all sleeping again.
My son sleeps but always gets up and comes into my bed. It’s been terrible lately & I’m still trying to break him of it.
I feel for you. I can imagine how tough it’s been! I think we have to find what works for our family. Wishing you lots of sleep all around. π
I am proud of you for writing about your experience here. I know it can be controversial. I hate that we have a culture where moms tear each other down and criticize. It’s in all of us to make informed decisions about what is best in our situation. You did that, and your WHOLE family is better off for it. You are an amazing mom!
Thank you Leigh! <3
I believe there is a right way and a wrong way to to CIO – if it’s done with love, patience and kindness it’s a great method. I used it on my toddler and it was the best decision!
Congratulations on getting some sleep again! We did CIO with our kids and after getting my first night of decent sleep the guilt went away. My OB told me that the best thing I can do for my kids is teach them how to sleep and I think he’s right. Well rested kids and parents are much healthier and happier.
Completely agree! It’s not a healthy household if everyone is tired and miserable!
Totally not here to judge. As moms, we all want what’s best for our babies. Do what works for you and what you feel is best for your adorable twins. So glad that everyone’s happy and getting lots of rest. π
Congrats! I say do what works for YOU and YOUR family!!!! Hugs mama!
Okay, I’m so glad I saw Emily’s facebook post about your article. I’ve been struggling with this for months. Two and a half months ago I tried to do the “No Cry Sleep Solution”. Yeah, didn’t work, in fact all the suggestions the book gives (save one) just make my little guy furious. So we’re back to 15-30 minute naps and waking all times of the night. I just have the baby sleeping in bed with me at night cause I can get more sleep that way, but this isn’t going to work when the hubs gets home next week. Everyone has been asking me why I don’t do CIO, but I think I’m just about ready to. I just need hubs to get home first cause I don’t think I can handle it all by myself–it is torture listening to your baby cry. Your post was just the encouragement I needed right now. Thanks Melissa!
Thanks so much for the comment Amy! If this post can help one Mama, then I am happy! Trust me, I felt terrible and like I said I left the house the second night, but it worked! They are happy and healthy girls who LIKE going to bed now!
I decided to go for it tonight. –In truth I had to let him cry it out the past 2 nights in his swing because he didn’t fall asleep nursing and I HAD to get my 2 other boys in bed– I put him in his crib, used the same method you used going in at intervals. He cried for 15 minutes and was asleep! And he is still sleeping almost 2 hours later! I can hear the angels singing! Thank you!!!!
EEEK!!! That is amazing! How did the rest of the night go? How was tonight?
After months of not sleeping, I finally let my son cry it out. Within a couple of nights he getting right to sleep. He needed it as much as I did. You have to do what feels right for you and your family. I am glad to hear you are all sleeping better.
You did what was right for your family, and that’s ALL that matters! Good for you, mama! You need sleep, too π
Every parent has to decide what is right for their family. No two babies are alike and no two situations are alike. It drives me nuts when people are so judgmental of other people’s parenting styles. You clearly researched this and really thought it through as it applied to your situation. You sound like a great mom and I love seeing the photos of your adorable twins! π
Proud of you, mama! CIO was the method that worked best for our family too. It was tough in the beginning – but ah, that extra sleep… π
You are a great mama! xoxo
You need to do what is right for your family! I am a believer in it. We did it with one child too and to this day, she is a great sleeper!
I had to do a cry it out stage with all three of my kids at one time or another. They had me only getting 1 hr of sleep a night, and there was only one at a time for me! I didn’t have twins. So yeah, sometimes you just have to let them so that you can get the rest so you can be a better mom.
You need to do what’s best for you and your family mama! Just know that you are the best mama you can be and it’s always different in every family – with every baby being different. Thanks for sharing. π
I know how hard it can be to CIO. I know it can get heated on either side. But I think all famiies have to figure out what works best for them.
It’s personal preference and I wouldn’t judge someone on either side of the opinion. I did the cry it out method with both of my kids too. Night one was tough of course, but night two both of them went to sleep without a problem and neither of the kids ever had any sleep problems through the years. Totally worth it.
I wanted to try this method with my son but my husband was a first time dad and couldn’t get on board with this. It was quite rough for a while.
Good for you for posting this! We did a modified CIO method for both of our kids, and I am happy I did. You can’t listen to all the mom advice out there –you have to pick and choose what is right for your family, and you did! I’m happy they are letting mama sleep!!!
Thank you!!!! I am the mom of 7 month old boys and a 2 and a half year old daughter. I used the CIO method for my daughter and she continues to this day to be a great sleeper. For the twins, it has been so much harder. This was exactly what I needed to read in order to get through it with the boys! Hopefully by next week, they will have learned to stay asleep over night!!!!
Oh, I totally feel you! You CAN do it and you will all be a happier household for it! Let me know if you need to chat! π
Thank you for sharing! At what age were your twins when you decided to do the CIO? And were they in the same crib?
I am also curious about the age you started the CIO? I have twin girls and can use all the help I can get! lol
I just realized I didn’t include this! We started at 5 months. I had read some recommendations to start at 4 months but I felt more comfortable with 5 months and it worked like a charm. They are 17 months old now and STILL sleep 12 hours a night.
I feel ya mama! Let me know if you have any questions!
When you went in at the 1 min, 3 min, 7 min, etc intervals did you just let the girls know you were there? How so? Did you wait until they stopped crying to leave the room again? How long past 10 minutes did you have to go?
hi! Came across your article as I sit here with 4
Month old twins almost exactly with the same sleep challenges you were having. They both have far too many awakening and needed to be binkied , soothed and held back to sleep. They are not hungry or wet. I never had to sleep train my older daughter so like you did I have such mixed feelings about CIO but I can function on 2/3 hours sleep for a lot longer . Our babies are still swaddled and I am not sure if it’s a good idea to cry it out while swaddled. What did you do? Thank you for sharing your experience!
hi, I have same problem twins 3 months , no sleep, tell me what did you do , and did it works for u?
One more question! What was your strategy during naps those first few days of training ?
How do you do it with one twin waking the other? And we’re your babies born premature at all? My husband and I are ready to start in 2 weeks when they’re 4 months but don’t know if that’s too early and also, how do you do it with them sharing the same room?
Hi, I know its an old post but I need you! my twins girls are 3 months now, they keep waking me up , they want the bottle all the time at night to go back to sleep, they are not hungry they just take itfor a minute and turn thier faces, I need to start CIO , so you put them both in the same room, did you have the monitor on? should I feed them if they wake up in the middle of the night?
I hope you ll answer me .
thanks , good luck
Thank you so much for sharing! I am.beginning the process with my 3 month old only at nap time now and i was wondering, after the 10 minutes had past and you had consoled/reassured them 4 times, what did you do if they continue to cry? Do you start the time ovee again
Sorry, I’m just seeing this! After 10 minutes, I would hold them and usually try again the next night. Each night got better and the crying shorter.