So you may have seen the post I Look Down On Young Women With Husbands And Kids And I’m Not Sorry circulating around the internet lately. I really hate to link to it, but it’s there and I highly suggest reading it if you want to read something completely ridiculous. Basically the author says that women that are “stay at home moms” do nothing and they will accomplish nothing.
Below are some of her gems.
Do people really think that a stay at home mom is really on equal footing with a woman who works and takes care of herself? There’s no way those two things are the same.
Yes, actually I DO believe that women that are stay at home moms are on equal footing with a woman that works and takes care of her self. Now, I do work from home now so I partly consider myself a stay at home mom. However, I used to be a manager at Target and worked 40+ hours and took care of myself. Did I think I was better than moms that stayed home? No way! And I’m sorry, stay at home moms and women that work ARE on equal footing. Because moms {both ones who work and don’t} are RAISING children and taking care of not only themselves but also actual human beings.
Having kids and getting married are considered life milestones. We have baby showers and wedding parties as if it’s a huge accomplishment and cause for celebration to be able to get knocked up or find someone to walk down the aisle with. These aren’t accomplishments, they are actually super easy tasks, literally anyone can do them. They are the most common thing, ever, in the history of the world. They are, by definition, average. And here’s the thing, why on earth are we settling for average?
Wow. What a way to kick down women with infertility problems. No, getting pregnant and having a baby is NOT a super easy task. Literally, not everyone can do it. And maybe it’s just me but when I think of a woman being able to bring a human life into this world, I don’t think that’s average at all. I think that it’s amazing.
You will never have the time, energy, freedom or mobility to be exceptional if you have a husband and kids.
I may not have a lot of free time or the freedom to take off and travel. But honestly, where I am in life is right where I want to be. But to say that a woman who is a mother can’t be exceptional? I just feel bad for her because I have met SO many exceptional women that are also mothers. I’m wondering if the author herself hasn’t gotten out into the world to meet these exceptional women who are raising future doctors, lawyers, engineers and Presidents.
I hear women talk about how “hard” it is to raise kids and manage a household all the time. I never hear men talk about this. It’s because women secretly like to talk about how hard managing a household is so they don’t have to explain their lack of real accomplishments.
I honestly don’t like to complain too much because I know how lucky I am that I’m able to work from home and be with my 3 kids. But since the twins came, I have to admit that I’ve complained a bit more in the past year, even though I’m incredibly blessed. But to say I have no real accomplishments because I’m at home? And it actually CAN be hard to raise good little human beings and run a household. The author mentions earlier that a stay at home mom isn’t on equal footing with a woman who works and takes care of herself. How on earth are they not on equal footing when a stay at home mom is doing MORE?
I’ve long thought that the Mommy Wars need to stop. Breast feeding, bottle feeding, working moms, stay at home moms….we are all moms who care about our children so why fight? Now, we have people bringing up a “war” between stay at home moms and working women. In my opinion, there should really be no comparison. How about we support all women period? I have many friends that don’t have children and are not interested. Do I look down on them? Heck no! I applaud them for living their life and doing what they want.
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I completely agree with you! I don’t think people realize how much work is actually involved in being a stay at home mom. Before having my daughter I worked full time and once she was born I was fortunate enough to be able to stop working. My friends and some family automatically thought that my days were filled with lounging on the couch, watching tv, and vegging out. They had no idea how much I did on my own when my husband was working 12 hours a day. I think it’s VERY important to support other woman regardless if our lifestyles are similar or different. Never judge someone unless you have walked in their shoes!
I totally hate the assumptions that SAHM’s just lie around doing nothing. I can’t remember the last time that was able to happen! Once the kids are in bed, I’m cleaning, doing laundry, etc!
I agree with your post Melissa. Some people just don’t “get it” until they are in our shoes. But even then, they should keep comments like that to themselves until they have walked a mile.
I completely agree! I hate to judge other Moms when I haven’t been in their shoes. Or judge other women period!
Women have always been so critical of each other for many, many years. With the rise of social media, I feel like it has only gotten worse.
I completely agree! I feel like even 5 years ago when my son was born, there weren’t these “mommy wars”.
I couldn’t agree more with you on this one. Someone who has never been in the situation can’t speak to it. Period. I have been a full time working mom and a stay at home mom and I can honestly say that staying home was much more difficult. Rewarding, but man it’s WORK 🙂
Well said!
I started to read that post over the weekend, and then I skimmed the bulk of the “article.” I just couldn’t allow myself to get that angry. We should definitely be supporting each other – whether you are a woman who doesn’t want children, only wants one child or longs to have 10 children. Working at home, staying at home with the kids, working out of the home. It’s all hard in their own ways.
The statement from her about how men don’t complain about having to work and raise kids really got my gourd! No they don’t complain – because most of them DONT DO AS MUCH AS A WOMAN. I’ve had a few steady long term relationships. I worked outside the home in every one of them. I was more responsible for the raising of the children than the guys were! They wanted the ‘good stuff’… take them to sports practice, play football outside with them, etc,etc,etc. I was the one who did the laundry, made sure homework was done, showers/baths taken, made meals, cleaned, etc – all after working a full time job all day. I’d have complained a lot less if those men had taken a little initiative and folded some clothes once in a while or vacuumed, or even kept their own clothes picked up off the floor and their tools out of the living room! Thank God I found a good one to marry!
This woman gets me fired up – she’s ignorant! I quit my job 8 years ago to stay at home when our 1st child was born, 8 years later we now have 5 kids and I homeschool. I take care of our household, cook, do field trips, etc. I think stay at home moms have harder jobs than women who work outside of the home. We are with our kids all day with no breaks. IT’s a very rewarding job. Sounds like she is jealous.
i haven’t seen nor heard of this and i have zero intention of giving her attention because
oh my gosh
what an ignorant woman!
that’s frightening to me. can we stop the mommy wars, the women wars? my friend is a work from home about 80% of the time SO she can be with her kids. she’s also very high up in a large company. she’s in the exec level. and you know what? she’s just as successful with her family as her career
Wow…Just Wow! I was a stay at home mom for the last 13 year. I have 5 children and just recently went back to work (only because I’m working at my children’s school and they needed me). When reading what that woman wrote (only the quotes from your page b/c I won’t dare give her page views for this post), I have to wonder what has caused her to be so mean? Her quotes make me think she is jealous because she does not have what the married women with kids have. Maybe she feels unloved? I don’t know, but simply put, it’s just mean. Thanks for sharing!
As someone who can’t have children I found her article incredibly insulting, hurtful, and just downright ignorant. As someone who has worked at a Wal-Mart, Target, etc. I recognize the fact that if it weren’t for a lot of those Stay at Home Mom’s I wouldn’t have had a job. Trust me it’s me and my husband and if I weren’t a stay at home wife nothing would EVER get done.
Wow. Just wow. I can’t even believe she would say some of those things. I feel so sad for her, honestly. Her criticism of marriage and raising children will likely lead her to miss out on the most important thing in this life and that is relationships and family. I wouldn’t trade my marriage or children for a million bucks or a successful career. Not a chance. I don’t care if a woman wants to work and succeed at a career, but to say women who want to pour everything they can into their children is somehow less is absurd.
Yes! So well said and so well written.
Definitely need more support.
I hated that article when I read it. She’s an idiot who clearly sees the world one way. Husbands and children are an inconvenience and cannot and should not be tolerated. Then make that personal choice for yourself and leave other women alone with their personal choices.
The media keeps trying to tell us about the war on women coming from men. But in reality it’s from other women who are judgmental about personal choices. What is right for me may not be right for you and that’s ok. I make decisions based on what’s best for me and my family not what others will agree with. I cannot figure out why someone thinks telling me that I’m wrong, or looked down upon, or whatever judgmental phrase they’ll use will make me change my life.
I hate when woman argue on what is tougher. As a working stay at home mom my role is super tough. I have to work, clean my entire home, cook, play photographer, referee, help my daughter with her homework. My job NEVER ends until I go to sleep. I dont get why being a SAHM would be any different than a working out of the home mom.
I’m floored by her idiocy. I’m glad to anecdoted her so I don’t have to click. And VERY glad you brought the rebuttal to the table. Unreal.
Wow, judgmental much?! Just because she wants to remain single and child-free doesn’t mean that those that do get married or have kids are beneath her.
I really like her comment about men not finding the home and children important. Really?! My husband works outside the home, but when he gets home he is all about spending time with our boys. And he helps me around the house – even when I’m home all day!
Amen sister! Why do we do that to one another – bring each other down or demean our choices just because they are either jealous or don’t understand our lives. We should just support each other for whatever decisions and choices we make for our lives and families.
I haven’t heard of this post you are referring to, but after reading your post, I don’t want to hear anything else this person has to say. I am a work at home mom of four and I feel accomplished!
I didn’t even bother reading that article and I honestly don’t understand why do many of my friends did. I have better things to do with my time than read inflammatory articles written just to drive traffic because people are angry – so the author can make as revenue. Lame.
Awesome post! Just because you’re married and have kids doesn’t mean you are anything less than before!
Love this! I had so many raging emotions when I read that piece. For all of the “life” that woman has lived by not having a family, she really is ignorant about the real world.
Well put. I can not believe that women are still trashing other women. I have been on both sides of the equation and I agree, it is tough on both sides, different challenges but tough.
Bravo! I’ve never understood that need to bash another woman’s decisions. If it’s not harming anyone, why must we get all up in arms about other people’s lives?
Oh my lawd! I saw that post! Straight up ignorance! I don’t understand why we can’t all support each other whether we agree or not. I just had a girl TODAY block me on FB for (get this) LIKING a comment that someone else wrote. This GMO-crazed blogger was intentionally tearing down another (very nice) blogger and she just being plain rude. And then another blogger commented about how she felt all this was wrong and how we should have mutual respect for each other, and I simply liked her comment. Now were BOTH blocked! Why can’t we just agree to disagree?! People have the attitude “I’m right, agree with me or I’ll hate you forever.” So sad….
Well said. It seems like I always have to explain to other moms that work what I do all day. I work from home and I homeschool all 4 of my kids. For reason they think that I stay at home and twirl my fingers all day
ABSURD! I can’t believe people actually think like this – people shaming is disgusting and everyone really needs to stop. Don’t judge anyone .. you don’t know anything.