Managing Your Parents’ Home When They Pass Away

Our generation is often called the sandwich generation because we’re stuck in the middle between bringing up our own families and coping with kids but also having to come to terms with our parents aging and needing more support from us. 

As much as we may not want to think about it, there is going to come a time when our parents pass away and we have to deal with sorting out and potentially selling their home. It’s a time of great stress and you may find it difficult to know what to do for the best, so we’ve put together a few tips to help you work out what’s important and help the process go as smoothly as possible.

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It’s all about the timing

The secret here is balance. You don’t want to rush through sorting out the contents of the house and end up throwing away things you wanted to keep or getting stressed by it all, but likewise, you need to be sensible about how long the process takes and not leave things for months and years, not wanting to face the reality of the situation. Giving yourself a thoughtful but sensible timescale is a good idea.

Of course, selling a house in probate isn’t always straightforward, and this can mean that timescales are a little out of your hands. You may need to be flexible here or consider a service that will buy your house from you at a guaranteed price if you want things done quickly.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help

Sorting and selling a house is a huge undertaking, even without the extra burden of grief, so don’t be afraid to ask for help from friends and family. This could be practical support with emptying the house and cleaning or emotional support when you’re sorting personal items. Don’t forget childcare too – if you have young children it might be too much for you to have them around and needing your attention when you’re trying to work through a difficult and emotional task.

If you find yourself unsure of what to keep, err on the side of caution. You can always have a second sort at a later stage and scale down the things you want to keep but you can’t get back the things you throw away. If you have friends or family with some storage space, this could be a good way to call in a favor.

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Don’t strive for perfection

If your parents have lived in their home for a long time you may find that when you start clearing, the house seems very dirty or dated. This may way feel very sad for you to see, but if you are selling the house, don’t feel like you have to get everything clean and modernized. Many people will be looking specifically for a project and will see past imperfections – save your emotional and physical energy for the really important stuff.

I hope that these few tips can help you manage a difficult time with a little more ease and grace.