Thursday we decided to go to The Picture People to get family pictures done. If you can believe it, these are our first professional pictures as a family! But I had a coupon and I was determined to get a picture of us in our Cardinals gear.
The pictures went quick (the wait time is a whole different story!) and they didn’t pressure me to buy more (bonus!). We had to wait longer than we normally do so we decided to get some lunch at the mall.
Walking down the mall, we came across a mother shopping at a small kiosk and ignoring her crying, screaming daughter who was on the floor pounding her fists and legs on the floor. Screaming. I whispered to Heath and said “That would never be us. We would pick up our child in a public place. We would never act like that”. Yes, I was judging. But the mother was ignoring her child!
Karma?
We went to California Pizza Kitchen and Hayden was in a MOOD. He hadn’t taken a nap (I went off routine!) and he wanted OUT of the stroller. We got a booth right away and ordered fairly quickly but Hayden was antsy so I pulled out my Mary Poppins bag (aka Purse).
Buzz and Woody? No!
Dinosaurs? No!
Snacks and Juice? No!
Cars? No!
He starts out with a full blown screaming tantrum. I picked him up and held him and was prepared to run out of the restaurant. Heath said not to leave but I didn’t want to annoy people.
That’s when I looked to my left. Sitting in a booth were two young mothers, each holding an adorable, cooing newborn while they ate. They look at each other. Then they look at me. And then it hits me. They are giving me LOOKS OF PITY! And smugness!
I just know they are thinking while holding their bundles of joy, “Oh, my child will never act like that in public”. They continue to whisper and stare at Hayden. As I was getting ready to make a run for it with my sobbing toddler, the waiter comes with the glorious kids pizza.
Instant silence.
Hayden helped me blow on the pizza to cool it off and then we had a wonderful lunch.
My panic was gone and I was able to relax and give those mothers a smile and they smiled back.
But then I started thinking about my judging of the mother earlier. Should I have judged? I know that I was being judged in CPK, and probably not just by those mothers. It’s not a good feeling. I make myself feel a little better by saying at least I was paying attention to my child. Look, I’m still judging!
I need to end this post! 🙂
Okay, I’ll go ahead and share the pictures that were taken. Here’s a link to the coupon I used that expires on Tuesday, if anyone wants to go!
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With pictures like that, it was totally worth the bit of frustration, right? So cute!
Great photos! We need to have some photos done soon.
I am living in dread of my son's first public tantrum. DREAD.
Beautiful pictures! Belle had a melt down yesterday. We were only at my parents house but it was when we were all sitting down to eat. I still felt horrible and stressed about it.
Having been on both sides of that, I've gotta say that there are some circumstances (and some kids) where ignoring is the most effective way to silence a tantrum. Of course, when it has happened with my kids (all four of them at some time or another and on more than one occasion) I do my best to get out of wherever we are as quickly as possible. However, some kids thrive on the attention they receive for throwing the tantrum. Sometimes ignoring them shows them that you aren't going to let them 'win' and it can (though it's not a guarantee) put an end to the tantrum. On the flip side, I'd rather see a mother ignoring her child than one who is mishandling or being rough with her child to get the child under control. Perhaps it was the mother's way of not being violent or reacting with anger? I don't know…I'm speculating…
BOO to being a Cards fan! hahahaha!! Maddie has taught me that sometimes kids just CAN'T be controlled. 🙂
Sometimes things don't always go as planned! Pictures are so hard…you never know what is going to happen! As fas as judging….we all do it. Sometimes we know we shouldn't….but those ladies will be singing a different tune when they have a toddler!!
Those are such cute pictures!
We've all made the mistake of judging. I'm all about ignoring Jake's tantrums now so he'll learn to stop when he doesn't get any attention. He will learn to stop, right? Right?!?!
Great pics! I can say that I am one of those mothers that ignores the tantrum. It is the only tried and true way to get my daughter to stop screaming. She feeds off of any kind of attention, so it's best if I ignore her.
The pictures are great! Been to Picture People a few times when mine were younger….always come out awesome!
I SO know what you mean about the judging thing. You can never say never when you have kids, and it's somewhat comical that it happened to you so quickly after you saw the other mom and kid! I think now that mine are older (11 and 16) I understand what these moms are going through, and I try to either commiserate with them or smile at them, letting them know that we're pretty much all in the same boat….just a different cruise each day!
That mother may have been using planned ignoring, as mentioned, a pretty effective way to handle some tantrums. Had the little girl been throwing the tantrum because some basic need wasn't being met, like hunger, this may have been a different story. I think ignoring is an okay method for dealing with kids' tantrums. Ignoring kids is a whole other issue. The kids I've worked with who have been neglected or ignored tended to have more extreme acting out behaviors. For example were that girl being neglected she might have stolen from the kiosk, or hit her mother, or something else that would have gotten mom's attention because negative attention is better than no attention at all.
Were you wrong to judge? Probably not, we all judge.
Those are excellent! We've never had any done as a family. We need to desperately.
I have something for you. Come over to my place so you can get it.
You all have some great insight!
I ignore Hayden's tantrums at home and it seems to work, but I think it's just the sheer panic I get of being in public that freaks me out.
So I don't understand why other people ignore in public. But I guess it's working for them?
You gotta do what you gotta do right?
I'm going to admit that I'm a mother who would be ignoring my child's tantrum. And my husband HATES it. On the outside, I appear calm and unfazed, but inside, I'm just as spastic as any mother who's child is behaving badly in public. It is a horrible feeling, but I have discovered that when my daughter gets that upset, there's no getting through to her until she calms down. The only thing that has been able to get her to react enough to allow her to calm down is me walking away or ignoring her (or my husband's bark). At home, I often use her grumpy moments to grab the laundry that needs to be done from our room, and by the time I return there's a very sheepish and contrite little one waiting to give me hugs and do her wordless best to apologize.
For what it's worth, I have totally read parenting books that say ignoring the behavior is the best way to end the behavior. If the child isn't hurting themselves I think sometimes, ocassionally, it's ok to ignore.
I just wrote about this the other day! I hate it when I'm judgemental too. Love the pictures btw!