It’s the kind of thing we don’t plan for because we don’t want to admit that it will happen. My father passed away suddenly last year. He didn’t have a stroke, or a heart attack, or get cancer. He got into a car accident on a sunny day. Both he and the other driver were sober. It was true accident–shocking, hard to process, and frustrating. I miss him everyday.
Fortunately my father started estate planning over two decades ago and so when it came down to me to trustee his estate every thing worked easily as per his design. After I had no more tears to cry and all of the financial matters were resolved, it became clear that my husband and I needed to sit down and live by my father’s good example. Up until last year, I think we felt immortal or at least so far removed from death that we might as well be immortal. The sudden loss of my father drew razor sharp focus on how limited and precious our time on earth is.
We wrote a will. We aren’t swimming in assets or debts. We manage our financial life well, paying cash where we can and seeking the best rates on credit cards when we do carry a balance. Mostly the will outlines custody of my daughter and establishes a trust for her in the event that both of us should pass well before our time. We actually have a reciprocal agreement with my sister, we’ll take over care of her sons and she’ll handle my little princess. Both of our wills provide financial assistance to the custody provider. We also decided to write out living wills and spent considerable time with each other discussing the kinds of treatment we want in case we should be brain damaged or be otherwise caught between here and there. These are difficult discussions, but in the wake of my father’s death I actually found it comforting to intimately discuss such matters with my husband.
We decided to invest in more life insurance. My husband’s job provides whole life insurance, but we decided invest in an inexpensive but higher payout term life insurance plan as well. After crunching the numbers, it made sense to insure ourselves further. In the even that my either my husband or I pass early, we wanted to make sure that the family is well-provided for.
Of course, neither my husband or I are toeing the grave. We’re young and health conscious. We appreciate each day and aim to appreciate tens of thousands more. We also spent time after my father’s death discussing living well beyond our life expectancies. Getting older is expensive, and we don’t want to burden our daughter (or and future children… fingers crossed!) with the expense of our care. While we have always lived a fiscally conservative life we are breaking down our budget, calibrating our credit and loan interest rates like financial guru Tim Chen recommends, and socking away money for the future in longterm savings and investments. Whether we live a good long life, or the unthinkable happens our finances are prepared to care for the family into the next generation.
It’s the type of thing you don’t think about until you have children. My mother who is know 60 cancelled hers a couple years ago because the amount she was paying out was so high, plus i am her youngest at 32. As children, I know she said she got it when my sister was born and because my Bio dad never wanted to do anything with us, I know the divorce stipulated that we would receive payment up until age 25.
With my sister expecting in October, I guess she and her husband will begin this planning as well.
We just never know if and when things can happen. Just yesterday watching this tornado and loss of life…is just something we cannot begin to understand or imagine. Things happens so being prepared now is something we all need to do. I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your father…kind of leaves us without words.
My father did pass away from cancer when I was only 23 years old. He was sick for many years but him and my mom did not plan on this happening it was a tough time.
So sorry about your Dad.
I know we need to make plans. It something you either don’t want to think about or gets pushed aside from daily living.
It is definately somthing you should plan for. Mu husband and I are 31 and have no health problems but we have wills. I have custody of my neice as my sister passed away last year and know all to well what could happen. Your children deserve to be planned for in the worst happens to you. And you can live your life with that peice of mind.
I’m so sorry about your father. You just never know when your time is up. We, too, have our finances mapped out if anything was to happen to us. That’s the last thing we would want family burdened with if something was to happen.
Thank you for the reminder. It’s so easy to think “It’ll never happen to me.” My husband and I have talked about getting a will but just haven’t taken the final step to do it. With two kids and one on the way I want everything to be in order in case something does happen. I appreciate your willingness to share your story with us. Thank you!
So sorry for your loss. We have made plans and we also update them every year, always helps to be prepared 🙂