Welcome to Stalker Saturdays from The Life of a Sippy Cup Mom!, The Adventures of Goober Grape and Monkey Man! and introducing our newest hostess cake, Stash Mama! Candice loved Stalker Saturdays so much that we invited her to be a fellow hostess. So please welcome her by peering into her windows later today.
We all have to start small. Stalker Saturdays was created to help the little blogs that we stalk to gain new followers. These are blogs that we find interesting, hilarious, touching, crazy…but they need a little help being pushed into the limelight!
All that we ask is that you visit the stalked blogger and check their blog out (you might even say that you’re stalking it!). If you become a new follower of theirs, let them know you’re following them from Stalker Saturdays!
Interested in being stalked? Do you ever feel like someone’s watching you…? Contact either Sippy Cup Mom, Goober Monkey or Stash Mama and let them know…and we might stalk you next!
This week’s stalked blog is by Nic, a really interesting SAHM who can’t seem to convince their child that the book that they read nightly doesn’t have poop floating on the page (you’ll have to see her Not So Wordless Wednesday post to see what we mean). And she likes to talk about all things poop, so that makes her A-OK in our book! Please welcome our newest stalked blogger with two crazy kids…Four Better, Four Worse!
We interrupt your normally scheduled programming for an important message from the emergency broadcast system:
There is currently a pint-sized dictator on the loose. 3 feet tall, 2.5 years old, red hair, blue eyes, answers to the name “Nut”. Offenses include throwing fits, throwing inanimate objects, shoving babies, and screeching at decibels shrill enough to make ears bleed.
If you should come across this dangerous tot, run. DO NOT, under any circumstances, make eye contact. If she thinks you are paying attention to her, a list of unreasonable demands will follow: Happy Meals. Toys. Movies. Wanting to be carried at inconvenient times (like when you’re pushing a 1 year old in a stroller AND holding a 1.5 year old on your hip). Cookies for dinner. A Wonder Pets episode at the snap of a finger. Fruit snacks even when you’ve calmly explained 14 times that they’re all gone. Swimming when it’s torrentially down pouring. Underwear when she’s not potty trained. Band aids on non-existent boo-boos. Teeth brushing 106 times per day. Toe nails painted when you’re trying to cook. Books read when you’re trying to poop. The list goes on and on.
If you should find yourself at the hands of her wrath, try to hold your ground. In an effort to expand her evil empire, Nut will try anything she can to break your resolve. Favorite tactics include (but are definitely not limited to):
*Hunger Strikes
*Giving you the evil eye (see above photo)
*Sleep Fighting
*Crying (both real and fake)
*Screaming
*Throwing herself to the ground and rolling around
*Yelling “NOOOOO, I DON’T WANNNAAA” to everything you suggest, no matter how reasonable
*Standing outside the baby’s room shouting at the top of her lungs
*Chucking her toys across the room
*Dumping out entire toy bins and strewing them about
*Pulling all the clothes out of her dresser drawers
*Hiding your cell phone
*Throwing her plate of food on the floor
*Acting excited to go to time out
*Pushing and pushing and pushing your buttons until you finally reach your breaking point, until you think “okay, that’s it. I’m pulling out my own hair”, and then she will LAUGH AT YOU, taking joy in your despair
Authorities have assured us that this is just a phase and once the so-called Terrible Two’s have passed, she will return to the sweet and pleasant child she once was. In the meantime, batten down the hatches and hide your breakables. If you need me, I will be curled up in the fetal position, rocking hiding under my kitchen table with ear plugs and a bottle of wine.
–Nic
Happy Stalking! Love,
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what a great idea with stalking 🙂
i like this stalking concept. i feel like that's what i do to everyone else…haha. Online of course not in real life…or did I just let me secret out? hmmm. i'll never tell!
jenn@peacelovemommy.com
I heard with indication to this site from my buddy. He pointed me here and told me I’d find what I need. First thanks to my pal then to you for having those informative articles for visitors.
I just checked out her blog, and I am now a stalker too! This is such a fun idea, thanks for showing us all such great blogs!
I have absolutely no idea what Celebrities and Fashion is talking about. LOL.