Planning vacations is always a tricky business, and more so when kids are involved. And if you are in a co-parenting situation, then the challenges are another order of magnitude entirely!
Family vacations are a joyful experience, but you do need to plan them carefully with your co-parent, taking into account everyone’s situation, needs, wants, and sensitivities. The last thing you want is to turn a lovely family trip into something toxic for want of the proper planning, so being organized and careful is of vital importance.
So whether you want to take advantage of the best cruise offer you’ve ever seen or pack up and take the kids away for a few weeks on a sunny beach, here are some things to keep in mind that will help keep the peace with your co-parent and ensure a great vacation for everyone!
Vacation time can go beyond the standard visitation schedule
When it comes to vacations, most agreements and Orders allow quite a bit of flexibility and deviation from the standard visitation rights. As long as they are properly planned, scheduled, and organized, a vacation usually supersedes the basic visitation allowance, so it’s perfectly possible to take your kids away even if the timeframe doesn’t fit perfectly into your normal allotted custody schedule. This is not to say that you won’t need to agree things in advance with your co-parent – there are many areas where things are not always clear cut – but a vacation does usually give you a little more flexibility to work with.
Communicate openly and well in advance
The key to a good family vacation as a co-parent is communication, at every stage of the process. It is absolutely essential that you let your co-parent know your intentions and plans in detail as far in advance as possible, and keep them updated all the way through the planning process about what you will be doing, where you will be going, how long you’ll be away, and so on. Being proactive about communication will make everything go smoothly and ensure you avoid conflicts or bitterness which can have a negative impact on your time with your children.
Help your kids stay in touch
It is equally important to make sure that your kids stay in touch with their other parent while they are away from you. It helps them feel more comfortable and keeps your co-parent from feeling left out of the vacation fun. Schedule a time each day for a phone or video call, and help your kids with their communication. Getting them to write a vacation journal to take home and show to their other parent can be a nice way of including your co-parent a little more actively.
Ask your kids, don’t tell them
Just as traveling as a co-parent can be complicated for you, it can also be a slightly difficult experience for your kids. Making sure they feel like they are included and have agency about the whole process is vital, so when you are planning the vacation (or even before), ask them what they want to do and where they want to go, don’t present them with a done deal. If they are involved in planning the vacation they will feel more invested, and enjoy it all the more!
Compromise is key
As with most aspects of co-parenting, flexibility and compromise are key. You will need to take your co-parent’s feelings and plans into account when organizing vacations with your children and be prepared to be flexible in order to ensure that everyone is happy, and that things are convenient and comfortable for everyone.
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