As I have gotten older, and gotten married, I realized there is something that everyone constantly will start to ask you: “When are you going to have kids?” At first it was an exciting thing to think about, and I would always respond with “Oh, in a few years.” But after a few years went by and we had been trying to have a baby for what seemed like years without success, this question really became irritating. In my sheltered life, I had always heard that “If you have sex, you will get pregnant!” I always thought it was as simple as that. Throughout our process in trying to conceive, being infertile, having to go through fertility treatments, and eventually needing IVF, here are some things I learned, and some things I wish I knew before I struggled for so many years.
Track Your Menstrual Cycle
Instead of leaving it up to chance, and guessing when your fertile window is, there is a sure way to know when your peak fertile day is. You can download an app on your phone to track your cycle, and during the time between your periods, you can use ovulation strips. Ovulation strips are kind of like a pregnancy test where you pee on it, but it will tell you when you are ovulating instead. If a second line appears on your strip, it means you are ovulating, and the darker the line gets, that means the more fertile you are at that exact time. It is silly to think there would be a golden number of days after your period that you are fertile. Every woman is different and cycles vary in lengths, so if a doctor tells you an exact number of days you should try after your period, without examining and studying your cycle, there is no reason to listen to him. You can easily track your ovulation and menstrual cycle all on your own.
Age Consideration
If you seem to be healthy, your menstrual cycles are fairly consistent, and you do not have a reason to think that you might be infertile, but you are a little on the older side, (32+ years old) try not to panic if it is taking you a little bit longer to conceive than your younger friends or your friends who started having kids sooner than you. It is very common for your fertility to slow down as you get a little bit older, and that just means that it may take a few more months of trying to conceive. It may seem like everyone around you is having babies without you, but try to not let that get to you.
Sperm Quality
Did you know that of all infertile couples, 50% of the time it is due to male factor infertility? Although it may be an uncomfortable topic, this would be a good time to ask your husband if he’s have had any issues in his childhood or young adult life such as a varicocele, pain in his testicles, or has been hit hard there. It is very simple to get a sperm analysis if you are ever interested in seeing if your husband has quality sperm and a good sperm count.
Painful Cramping
Often women will have painful cramping during their period, but doctors will brush off the woman’s pain as “normal” period cramps. If your cramps are debilitating, this is not normal. On average it takes a woman with endometriosis 10 years to be diagnosed because of doctors like this. This is something I had experienced all through high school and it was not until I was trying to get pregnant that I realized, maybe this could be the reason. It is never too early to get checked out by a fertility specialist, and that is something I wish I sought out help with much much earlier than I did. I would make appointments with my OB and constantly complain of painful periods, but was not taken seriously every time. If I could go back in time, I would have definitely gone to a fertility specialist, even though I wasn’t currently trying to get pregnant just because the pain was so great.
Holistic Medical Clinic
If you are still struggling to get pregnant after troubleshooting your issues or you feel like you may have a feeling there is an issue, but the idea of a fertility clinic scares you, you can always seek help from a holistic medical clinic. A holistic doctor can take a different approach to not just your overall health, but even your fertility. He will be able to look at the root cause of why you may not be getting pregnant and can help solve the root cause without having to do crazy IVF treatments. Ultimately that was something that I wish I had tried before shelling out thousands of dollars for IVF.
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