A gestational surrogate carries a baby for a couple or individual. The couple or individual is known in the process as intended parents. Gestational surrogates don’t share genetics with the baby they carry.
In vitro fertilization (IVF) is used, which uses either the egg of the intended mother or an egg donor.
Many fertility agencies only work with intended parents who are going to use the intended mother or an egg donor’s eggs. Otherwise, it’s known as traditional surrogacy, which is illegal in some states.
A gestational surrogate receives money for her time and work carrying the baby. Surrogate compensation can include the base fee, which is the pay for the time the surrogate is actually pregnant, as well as a clothing allowance, childcare, and housekeeping.
A surrogate and the intended parents sign a contract where they agree to the fees and any other stipulations of the arrangement. When the baby is born, the names of the intended parents are on the birth certificate, and they take on all responsibility for the child.
There are certain requirements to become a surrogate, including the following:
1. The Basics
According to the guidelines outlined by the American Society of Reproductive Medicine, a surrogate needs to be at least between the ages of 21-45, but some agencies have different age requirements.
A surrogate needs to have a healthy BMI of 30 or less and shouldn’t use illegal drugs or smoke.
It’s important that someone who’s going to be a surrogate is low-risk for themselves and the baby.
Other basic requirements often include having carried at least one pregnancy to term, and some agencies require that a gestational carrier is raising a child of their own in their home. They can’t have a history of major complications during past pregnancies, and they should be off any depression or anti-anxiety medicines for at least 12 months.
It may also be a requirement that a gestational carrier not have any new tattoos or piercings within 12 months of the process starting.
Even if someone doesn’t meet all of the physical qualifications, they might still be approved on a case-by-case basis. Two of the major things that would likely prohibit someone from being a gestational carrier are age and not having been pregnant before.
2. Psychological Qualifications
It’s important to realize that being a gestational carrier is about more than the physical and medical requirements. Anytime a woman is considering being a surrogate, she has to be fully aware of the potential psychological and emotional challenges it can bring.
You’re committing to a partnership of a year or more with intended parents. You’re going to have to put a lot of your time and energy into helping them create a family. You have to attend doctor’s appointments, set up progress calls and meetings with the intended parents, and more. It becomes like a full-time job that will affect not only you but also your own family.
You’re going to be handling all of your other daily responsibilities, and you’ll be going through the physical and hormonal changes of being pregnant.
It’s not uncommon to deal with conflicting emotions throughout all of this, so you need to come from a solid emotional place before starting the process.
3. Screening
If you believe you meet the required qualifications to be a surrogate, you should next take steps to get in touch with an agency or surrogacy professional. You’ll complete paperwork to confirm whether or not you’re eligible.
Then, you’ll have to go through psychological and medical screening.
Your spouse, if you have one, will also have to participate in psychological screening.
The person screening you will be a mental health professional who will talk to you in-depth about how you feel about being a surrogate and how you plan to handle challenges that you may face.
After matching with the intended parents, you’ll go through another medical screening before you start the process.
4. Surrogacy Isn’t For Everyone
Finally, for the people who find that it is right for them, surrogacy can be very rewarding and life-altering in a good way. It’s important to realize that it’s not for everyone, though.
It’s ideal for someone to have an understanding of the full process and their own support system. You’ll also need to be someone who’s open and flexible, and organized.
You’re going to be taking on a lot during the journey, and it’s helpful if you fully grasp the ups and downs of what the process can be like.
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